English Lunacy

Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. Has it ever struck you that we are constantly standing meaning on its head? Let’s look at a number of familiar English words and phrases that turn out to be the opposite or something very different from what we think they mean.

A near miss. It is, in reality a collision. A close call is actually a near hit.

I’m speaking tongue in cheek. So how can anyone understand you?

I want to have my cake and eat it too. Shouldn’t this time old cliché be, I want to eat my cake and have it too? Isn’t it logical to hope to eat the cake and then still possess it?

A hot cup of coffee. Here again the English language gets us in hot water. Who cares if the cup is hot? Surely we mean a cup of hot coffee.

A hot water heater. Who heats hot water?

Preplan, prepone, preheat, prerecord. Who needs to pre-tentious prefix?

They do things behind my back. You want them to do things in front of your back?

Underwater and underground. Things that we claim are underwater and underground are obviously surrounded by, not under the water and ground.

Watch your head. I keep seeing these signs on low doorways, but I haven’t figured out how to follow the instructions. Trying to watch your head is like trying to bite your teeth.

We come to the conclusion that English is a crazy language. Still, you have to marvel at the unique lunacy of it, in which your house can simultaneously burn up and burn down, in which you fill in a form by filling out a form and in which you first chop a tree down and then you chop it up.

Pronunciation gone awry

Here are some of the words you and I are likely to use on a regular basis. We probably didn’t even realize that we were pronouncing them incorrectly all along. Have you ever heard someone say ‘aks’ instead of ‘ask’? I reckon that’s a ‘yes’. Go on and correct yourselves if you’re fumbling up with these words too.

Correct word	Mis-pronounced version	Brief
Hierarchy	Hi-archy	Remember, hierarchies go higher than you might think. This one is pronounced ‘higher archy’ and not ‘high archy’.
Espresso	Expresso	While I can't express my love for espresso enough, this word was borrowed from Italian well after the Latin prefix ex- had developed into es-.
February	Febyuary	We don't like two syllables in succession with an [r] so some of us dump the first one in this word. Most dictionaries now accept the single [r] pronunciation but, if you have an agile tongue, you may want to shoot for the original.
et cetera	excetera	Latin for 'and' (et) 'the rest' (cetera) are actually two words that probably should be written separately.
Probably	Probly/ prolly	Haplology is the dropping of one of two identical syllables such as the [ob] and [ab] in this word, usually the result of fast speech. Slow down and pronounce the whole word for maximum clarity and to reduce your chances of misspelling the word.
our	are	It is common to hear the pronou ‘our’ incorrectly pronounced like the verb ‘are’ or the letter r. The correct pronunciation is the same as hour. They have different spellings and meanings, but different pronunciations as well. Remember never to confuse the pronunciation of ‘our’ with ‘are’. As a reminder, think of our as being the same as hour, but without the h.

So, go on and pronounce them right!

Newsletters: Bringing back the human touch

It’s simple how a Newsletter (NL) achieves its communication objectives – through relationships. Newsletters build relations. And can do that extra bit, which an ad or a brochure can’t. Even before it can figure out the motive and game plan on how to achieve its client’s goals, the NL is living, breathing and existing on a belief system of establishing bonds of friendship, loyalty. Contrary to mainstream communication these days, which is constantly trying to fight for mindspace or stand out through mere glib text. Sometimes it concentrates so much on fighting clutter and presenting smart copy that it forgets to look deep enough into its audience’s psyche. It might speak out to the world but it somehow manages to forget to speak to the individual. The newsletter gets this right.

How? The NL is in no hurry to compete. Rather it takes its time to include everyone in its folds – literally. Time, pages, a knack of making people feel special, the ability to reach into the mind and heart of an individual, the intelligence to know that it can’t pull wool over its readers’ eyes – makes the NL somewhat more needed in today’s day and age.

So everybody’s on the run, nobody has the time. There are more than necessary products in the market so players need to dare and not just do. There are far too many things precious – time, money, mindspace are just some. Individuals are treated as commodities. Conversations are seen as possible conversions. Time is spent only if money is gained. And before we even know it, like the hottest-selling technology that permeates our lives, the mantra of the fast and the furious takes over our lifestyle. We can’t seem to step out of this super-fast rat race; the flow sucks us in. The irony of how new strategies evolving out of a process of change end up becoming stagnating habits escapes us completely.

But the truth is we all miss the human touch. So, if you come to realise you’re part of this humane-less rat race, it’s time to step out. Look at those running masses and notice how easily you’ve set yourself apart from the herd. At last you breathe easy.

What we’re saying is it’s time to bring back the lost art of personal touch in our communications. It’s time to acknowledge that our audience actually has individual faces. They’ve had enough of mass-designed, intrusive, techo, nano bytes of information per second coded in ads and brochures. They’re tired of it. Now they need some genuine attention. A page where the written word seems to be for him, or her. Where the message is straight from the heart. And the intention is not blatantly selfish. Where words form a bond with the reader.

It’s a myth people don’t have time for relationships. Everybody does. And we’re all trying to reach out. We’re just waiting for a hand to reach in and make all the difference.

With Newsletters it’s true - you don’t just reach out; you reach in.

March-ing forward!

With the financial year coming to a close and you working overtime to meet your yearly targets – and, if possible, exceed them – chasing numbers, framing statements, arranging more meetings… it's pandemonium! While you are keeping an alert eye on your coffers, International Women’s Day is around the bend too! Are you ready for the communication challenge these events bring? Read on, and you'll know.

Gender benders

Women today have a significant and growing presence in the workplace. So while celebrating International Women’s Day in the organisation, make a resolution to modifying your vocabulary, and apply gender-sensitivity to your communication. Doing so will not just pass you off as someone who keeps abreast of times, but also endear you to your female associates. Here are a few frequently-used words to keep in mind.

In the office or other work-related areas, it is best to use:

• ‘Personhours’ instead of ‘manhours’;
• ‘Businessperson’ instead of ‘businessman’;
• ‘Office cleaner’ or ‘housekeeper’ instead of ‘maid’;
• ‘Chairperson’ instead of ‘chairman’;
• ‘Salesperson’ or ‘sales representative’ instead of ‘salesman’/ ‘salesgirl’.

In your everyday life, use words like:

• ‘Synthetic’ or ‘artificial’ instead of ‘man-made’;
• ‘Ancestor’ instead of ‘forefather’;
• ‘Homemaker’ instead of ‘housewife’;
• ‘Layperson’ instead of ‘layman’;
• ‘Human-power’ instead of ‘manpower’.

Mind your business

Here are some popular financial terms that you probably use regularly. However, do you know how they originated? Given here are the origins of these words:

• Vesting (Earning pension over time): the verb ‘vest’ is derived from the Latin word ‘vestire’, meaning ‘to clothe, especially someone holding a rank’. So soon, the word derived the connotation of ‘to place or secure something in the legal possession of a person’.
• Budget (A sum of money allocated for a particular purpose): French merchants, in the Middle Ages, carried money in a ‘bougette’ (little bag). This word has its origins in the Latin word ‘bulga’ (a leather bag). The word got its current meaning during its import into English.
• Finance (Management of money): The word originates from the old French and Latin word ‘fine’ (end). The French word also had the connotation of ‘payment’. However, when the English adapted it in the 18th century, they began using the word only for money management.
• Money (Currency; medium of exchange): The Roman goddess Juno was responsible for warning the Romans of impending danger. So, she was called Juno Moneta – the name meaning ‘warn’ in Latin. As a tribute to her, the Romans built a temple on Capitoline Hill, which later became the place where coinage was kept. The name Moneta eventually evolved into the word money.

Newsletter – answering practical questions

It's like the four blind men trying to understand the elephant; they had their own ideas about it. You too would have your own perceptions about the newsletter. However, without knowing (more) about it, you'll hardly be able to appreciate its versatility.

So, here's an effort to help you better understand the versatile communication tool that the newsletter is.

Why do I need a newsletter?

Ever felt like reaching out to employees? Or wished to make your clients take notice of you? Or wanted to educate people about a particular issue? Ever wanted a brand ambassador who'd reflect your company's image accurately, at a fraction of the cost the celebrity would demand?

If yes, then you need a newsletter. This periodical journal can help you do all this and more. And what's more, it can do it subtly or obviously, depending on what you want. It offers you the luxury of complete customisation. You can choose what to say, whom to say it to and how. Effectively.

Well, why not use a brochure or ad or other forms of communication to meet these ends?

A brochure or an ad is seen as true marketing material, and therefore, meets with a certain resistance in the readers' minds. How often have you read the brochures you've received at shows or seen the ad leaflets that are mailed to you?

A newsletter is different as it is not perceived as a typical marketing communication effort. It can sell your brand or product without making it obvious, sometimes clothing it in the garb of information or leisure reading. Therefore your audience – be they employees, clients or other stakeholders – is likely to receive it with an open mind.

Why should I go to a specialist for creating one when I have an in-house team who can do it?

Your in-house team could very well put together a few articles and a layout and circulate it to your audience, but it may not reflect the quality and professionalism of an agency that is skilled in doing it. A specialist can help you add character to the issues, define the newsletter's identity, and create it in sync with your brand identity and communication objective.

What returns will it give me?

The returns could be many and varied, depending on your communication objectives. Here are some examples.

• Internal – help employees strengthen their bonds with the company, motivate and encourage better performance, increase awareness about issues, manage talent and indirectly, even reduce attrition.

• External – improve brand visibility, strengthen your brand image, build goodwill with clients, and also assist in marketing initiatives.

Well, now that you have an idea of what the newsletter is and what it can do, you can always call the newsletter specialists to know more about it. You can reach us at getus@cbeyond.in

Get your point across

Effective communication is about clarity and simplicity. The simpler and clearer your message is, the better are its chances of being understood. However, there's more to good communication than just this. Here are a few tips to help you get your point across, easily and effectively:

1.Identify your target audience and make a mental picture of them in terms of age, likes and dislikes, attitudes, etc. Communicating to them should be your primary goal. Everything else is secondary.

2.Next, choose a single prominent medium of communication, that will get their attention. It could be a blog, or a power point presentation, or even a printed article, depending on their demographics and psychographics.

3.Clearly identify the message or thought to be communicated. It is best to stick to one central message that is reiterated, with perhaps two sub-themes or sub-messages. That will prevent confusion of ideas.

4.Frame your message in an interactive way. That will gather the audience's interest and get them to pay attention to your thoughts

5.Keep it simple and straightforward. Use a clear style and precise words to convey what you want to say. Bombastic language may sound impressive, but if your audience has not understood what you tried to say, the purpose of your communication has been lost.

6.Make your messages personal and relevant. Customise them to suit your target group. If you need to give an example of a dance form to an Indian audience, try Bharatanatyam or Kathak, rather than Ballet or Salsa.

7.Ensure that your message is sensitive to the cultural, regional and religious sentiments of the audience. A well-intentioned statement can backfire if it hurts your audience's ideas and may land you in an embarrassing situation.

8.Avoid clichés. If it’s something your audience has seen elsewhere, they may not be impressed with what you are offering.

9.Encourage your target audience to contribute. This will go a step further to bring in a sense of belonging, especially during a presentation.

10.Humor helps, but do not use it unless it comes easily to you. A bad joke can create an unfavorable impression. It's best to intersperse your communication with interesting facts and anecdotes to break monotony.

Retaining talent the newsletter way

Some of the best-known Indian companies face serious attrition problems. What about you?

Attrition today is a HR manager's nightmare. The Indian BPO industry is currently experiencing an attrition of 25-30 per cent. The IT industry majors average between 10-20 per cent. So, many companies are now concentrating their efforts on stemming this tide.

Though attrition is a result of many factors, having certain fundamentals in place can work towards your advantage and help you retain employees. And communication is one of them. At CBEYOND we understand this and help you not just communicate, but communicate right through the newsletter.

Communication – an essential

Today, employees spend a greater part of their waking hours at work. So, to retain them and improve their productivity, your company has to be a social organisation they are in sync with. It needs to be a social network that will compel them to think twice before bidding goodbye.

Therefore, it is essential for your employees to establish a good rapport with their colleagues. They need to not just know your company's mission and goals, but also understand how it affects them and what is expected of them. However, merely conveying these thoughts don't help. Regular motivation and encouragement is essential. Moreover, your professionals need a medium through which they can share ideas and thoughts with each other, and stay updated about events and happenings.

Newsletters – the panacea

Our newsletters help you achieve all this and more through their contents. They help you send the right message to the right audience and at the right time. Use it to congratulate your top-performing teams, or to invite participation for an upcoming event. Feature an article which explains your organisational values, or simply get employees to share their ideas and experience.

Whatever be the nature of the communication, the newsletter can help you say it right and reach out to the audience. Add to this, its ability to reflect your company's branding and thoughts, and you have a communication tool tailored to meet your needs.

So, take the first and most important step to retain your talented personnel today. Communicate and communicate right with the newsletter.

CBD Case study:

Information, inspiration and integration for a software leader

A global IT solutions provider with over 5,000 employees wanted its professionals to be better integrated and feel part of the company. The challenge: diverse employee base, branches spread across geographies and employees isolated at client-sites.

CBD created an e-newsletter which functioned as a link between the company's members. It helped the employees better understand the different branches of the organisation, and also threw light on career avenues and advancement opportunities. Thus, it helped the employees better understand and identify their growth paths. Electronic transmission overcame geographical barriers, while periodic issues reduced the feeling of isolation for on-site employees.

Ph(r)ased out!

While you are at it, ensure that your messages or mails do not have the following incorrect phrases and other errors that have equally disastrous effects. So, if you’ve been using these phrases, it’s time to stop!

• Revert back. It’s just revert. The word itself means to ‘go back’.
• Redo again. Redo means ‘do again’. So, the word again, after redo, is unnecessary.
• ATM machine. ATM reads as ‘Automated Teller Machine’; you don’t need an extra ‘machine’ after the abbreviation.
• Return back. Return means ‘to come back’.
• Your’s Truly. You do not require an apostrophe in the word yours; nor should the word truly appear in uppercase. The correct usage is ‘Yours truly.’
• Abbreviations. Unless you are sure that your recipient is really familiar with the abbreviations, steer clear of them. You do not want your prospective client wondering what LOL or PFA is! (LOL is laugh out loud; PFA is Please Find Attached.)

To err is … err… human

Been overusing Short Messaging Service? Chances are that it's reflecting in your official documents too! Since perfection is the order of the day, to err renders you silly, and sometimes even offensive. Here are a couple of instances that could intrude into your official letters, emails, or places where correct written language is a must.


Word pow-err
Mistaking homonyms are the most common errors. And though it’s human that your mind may sometimes refuse to assemble them, the not-so-pretty results should motivate you to keep them away. Here are few of the frequent ones.

1.Then and than: ‘Then’ is an adverb to signify a subsequent action (e.g., we then went home); ‘than’ is a conjunction used for comparatives (e.g., Rita is taller than me)

2.Effect and affect: ‘Effect’ is a noun. It signifies a development that has been caused by an action that happened before (e.g., the medicine had a good effect on her); ‘affect’ is a verb that defines the kind and degree of ‘effect’ (e.g., how did the medicines affect her?).

3.Everyday and every day: ‘Everyday’ is an adjective to describe something common, ordinary and sometimes even mundane (e.g., it’s an everyday affaire); ‘every day’ is an adverb that means daily (e.g., it’s something I do every day).

Apostrophe catastrophe
The apostrophe catastrophe is actually quite wide spread. It’s not just the little vertical stroke that makes a difference, the words mean different too. So check twice while typing them to keep those unwanted slips out.

1.Your and you’re: ‘Your’ is a pronoun. It signifies a belonging to ‘you’ (e.g., I like your car); ‘you’re’ is a contraction of ‘you are’ (e.g., you’re home early today).

2.Its and it’s: ‘Its’ is a pronoun that translates as belonging to a thing (e.g., lay the box on its right side). ‘It’s’ is a contraction of ‘it is’ or ‘it has’ (e.g., it’s a table).

3.Their and they’re: ‘Their’ is a pronoun that means ‘of them’ (e.g., I like their house); ‘they’re’ is a contraction of ‘they are’ (e.g., they’re coming to my house this evening).

4.Whose and who’s: ‘Whose’ is a pronoun that means ‘of whom’ or ‘of which’ (e.g., whose coat is this?); ‘who’s’ is a contraction for ‘who is’ or ‘who has’ (e.g., who’s the person in charge?).

5.Lets and let’s: ‘Lets’ is a verb that pertains to allowing (e.g., she lets her dog take a walk everyday); ‘let’s’ means making something possible and is a contraction for ‘let us’ (e.g., let’s go for a picnic).

Time tested

While some phrases have perpetrated themselves through time, there have been others that have picked up pace over the last century of so. Here are few phrases – old and new – that our conversation just can’t do without.

• Tongue in cheek: What it really means is to pretend to be serious when one is actually joking. This phrase originated from the action of biting ones tongue in the effort to suppress laughter. So, you put your tongue in your cheek when you bite it off with the side teeth.
• Stink to high heaven: It is used to describe strong odour. Shakespeare could have been the father of this one. The phrase occurs in his play “Hamlet” in the lines uttered by the king of Denmark, his uncle, Claudius: “O, my offense is rank, it smells to heaven;”
• Rub it in: It translate as, saying or doing something intending to make someone feel worse. It could have cropped up from another phrase: “rubbing salt to a wound”. Or it could also have come from the action of driving in something by rubbing it.
• Mark my words: An emphatic declaration, it means that the speaker’s words will be proven true eventually. This phrase comes from the fact that the word ‘mark’ actually meant to write it down or mark the words in ink. That way it was a written proof that could be verified later.

Festive fine print

New Year is here! Lots of wishes for a prosperous and joyous year are going around. You probably have wished, or are still in the process of wishing your family, friends, clients, and prospective customers the very best for 2008. But wait a minute. Did you go out this year too and buy a tonne of greeting cards that you promptly handed over to your assistant to send out? Oops! If you have already, then make amends next year, but if you haven't, then, there's still time to make your New Year wishes special.

Make sure you put a little thought into your New Year cards and you can be sure that they will be much appreciated. Here are some things you can do.

• Personal touch: Whether it’s your friend or a potential client, address the recipient of the card by name. Personalising your messages has a positive impact and also makes the recipient feel special. After all, won’t you too like a card addressing you in person?
• Title check: The next important thing to do is to address your recipient correctly. Slips like addressing a woman as ‘Mr’, or vice-versa are inexcusable. The direct impact is obviously negative, and you could make or mar millions with just this one move. Take the trouble to find out if you have never personally interacted with the recipient and are aware of only the last name.
• Sign up: Sign all the cards you send out personally. The time you spend doing it, will be well worth it; and you will reap its benefits throughout the year.
• Think new: Saying the same old “Wishing you a happy and prosperous New Year” is passé. Just saying something as simple as “Wishing you 365 days of joy and prosperity” changes the entire feel of the message.
• Double check: Proof what you have written, because grammar and spelling mistakes are unacceptable. It does create a bad impression even if it is just with your family.

A newsletter for you too

The message is clear: communicate or perish.

In today's demanding business world, there are many things you compete for: market share, quality employees, stakeholder's attention. And to win them all, you need to communicate and communicate right. Sometimes clearly, sometimes cleverly. Sometimes emphatically, sometimes subtly.

Whatever be the nature of your communication, the newsletter can help, as it has in the following cases.

Case study one: taking the 'sales' out of the sales talk

A real estate company wanted to keep its clients informed about its ongoing and future projects and promote its ventures. However, this had to be done in a subtle way, without making the communication sound like a marketing effort.

A theme-based newsletter that focused on promoting Bangalore as 'the place to be in' was the solution. While the first few pages had articles that chronicled the city's glory, the next few pages displayed the company's projects. The reader looked forward to the informative articles, the company looked forward to reaching out to them.

Case study two: earning goodwill

A well-known hospital had twin goals to meet: keep in touch with its clients and enhance brand recall subtly.

The answer arrived in the form of an informal newsletter that spoke on health and wellness. The content was informative, yet light-hearted, giving the audience appropriate material for leisure reading. A logo and a help-line number on the last page, gave just the right prominence to the brand, enhancing its visibility and recall.

Case study three: attracting and engaging talent

Engage employees yet to join the organisation. Create a positive impression on a database of prospective employees.

With this mandate, a well-known technology leader circulated two newsletters. They spoke of current technology, shared corporate gyan, had a corner for leisure and created the impression of company that truly cared for its people. Bright, cheerful colours added to the feeling of warmth. Fresh layouts were appealing. The company found an effective way of building loyalty with people, who were yet to even become part of it.

So, whatever be your requirement, rest assured the newsletter can help. Rest assured, there's a newsletter for you too.