English Lunacy

Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. Has it ever struck you that we are constantly standing meaning on its head? Let’s look at a number of familiar English words and phrases that turn out to be the opposite or something very different from what we think they mean.

A near miss. It is, in reality a collision. A close call is actually a near hit.

I’m speaking tongue in cheek. So how can anyone understand you?

I want to have my cake and eat it too. Shouldn’t this time old cliché be, I want to eat my cake and have it too? Isn’t it logical to hope to eat the cake and then still possess it?

A hot cup of coffee. Here again the English language gets us in hot water. Who cares if the cup is hot? Surely we mean a cup of hot coffee.

A hot water heater. Who heats hot water?

Preplan, prepone, preheat, prerecord. Who needs to pre-tentious prefix?

They do things behind my back. You want them to do things in front of your back?

Underwater and underground. Things that we claim are underwater and underground are obviously surrounded by, not under the water and ground.

Watch your head. I keep seeing these signs on low doorways, but I haven’t figured out how to follow the instructions. Trying to watch your head is like trying to bite your teeth.

We come to the conclusion that English is a crazy language. Still, you have to marvel at the unique lunacy of it, in which your house can simultaneously burn up and burn down, in which you fill in a form by filling out a form and in which you first chop a tree down and then you chop it up.

Pronunciation gone awry

Here are some of the words you and I are likely to use on a regular basis. We probably didn’t even realize that we were pronouncing them incorrectly all along. Have you ever heard someone say ‘aks’ instead of ‘ask’? I reckon that’s a ‘yes’. Go on and correct yourselves if you’re fumbling up with these words too.

Correct word	Mis-pronounced version	Brief
Hierarchy	Hi-archy	Remember, hierarchies go higher than you might think. This one is pronounced ‘higher archy’ and not ‘high archy’.
Espresso	Expresso	While I can't express my love for espresso enough, this word was borrowed from Italian well after the Latin prefix ex- had developed into es-.
February	Febyuary	We don't like two syllables in succession with an [r] so some of us dump the first one in this word. Most dictionaries now accept the single [r] pronunciation but, if you have an agile tongue, you may want to shoot for the original.
et cetera	excetera	Latin for 'and' (et) 'the rest' (cetera) are actually two words that probably should be written separately.
Probably	Probly/ prolly	Haplology is the dropping of one of two identical syllables such as the [ob] and [ab] in this word, usually the result of fast speech. Slow down and pronounce the whole word for maximum clarity and to reduce your chances of misspelling the word.
our	are	It is common to hear the pronou ‘our’ incorrectly pronounced like the verb ‘are’ or the letter r. The correct pronunciation is the same as hour. They have different spellings and meanings, but different pronunciations as well. Remember never to confuse the pronunciation of ‘our’ with ‘are’. As a reminder, think of our as being the same as hour, but without the h.

So, go on and pronounce them right!

Newsletters: Bringing back the human touch

It’s simple how a Newsletter (NL) achieves its communication objectives – through relationships. Newsletters build relations. And can do that extra bit, which an ad or a brochure can’t. Even before it can figure out the motive and game plan on how to achieve its client’s goals, the NL is living, breathing and existing on a belief system of establishing bonds of friendship, loyalty. Contrary to mainstream communication these days, which is constantly trying to fight for mindspace or stand out through mere glib text. Sometimes it concentrates so much on fighting clutter and presenting smart copy that it forgets to look deep enough into its audience’s psyche. It might speak out to the world but it somehow manages to forget to speak to the individual. The newsletter gets this right.

How? The NL is in no hurry to compete. Rather it takes its time to include everyone in its folds – literally. Time, pages, a knack of making people feel special, the ability to reach into the mind and heart of an individual, the intelligence to know that it can’t pull wool over its readers’ eyes – makes the NL somewhat more needed in today’s day and age.

So everybody’s on the run, nobody has the time. There are more than necessary products in the market so players need to dare and not just do. There are far too many things precious – time, money, mindspace are just some. Individuals are treated as commodities. Conversations are seen as possible conversions. Time is spent only if money is gained. And before we even know it, like the hottest-selling technology that permeates our lives, the mantra of the fast and the furious takes over our lifestyle. We can’t seem to step out of this super-fast rat race; the flow sucks us in. The irony of how new strategies evolving out of a process of change end up becoming stagnating habits escapes us completely.

But the truth is we all miss the human touch. So, if you come to realise you’re part of this humane-less rat race, it’s time to step out. Look at those running masses and notice how easily you’ve set yourself apart from the herd. At last you breathe easy.

What we’re saying is it’s time to bring back the lost art of personal touch in our communications. It’s time to acknowledge that our audience actually has individual faces. They’ve had enough of mass-designed, intrusive, techo, nano bytes of information per second coded in ads and brochures. They’re tired of it. Now they need some genuine attention. A page where the written word seems to be for him, or her. Where the message is straight from the heart. And the intention is not blatantly selfish. Where words form a bond with the reader.

It’s a myth people don’t have time for relationships. Everybody does. And we’re all trying to reach out. We’re just waiting for a hand to reach in and make all the difference.

With Newsletters it’s true - you don’t just reach out; you reach in.

March-ing forward!

With the financial year coming to a close and you working overtime to meet your yearly targets – and, if possible, exceed them – chasing numbers, framing statements, arranging more meetings… it's pandemonium! While you are keeping an alert eye on your coffers, International Women’s Day is around the bend too! Are you ready for the communication challenge these events bring? Read on, and you'll know.

Gender benders

Women today have a significant and growing presence in the workplace. So while celebrating International Women’s Day in the organisation, make a resolution to modifying your vocabulary, and apply gender-sensitivity to your communication. Doing so will not just pass you off as someone who keeps abreast of times, but also endear you to your female associates. Here are a few frequently-used words to keep in mind.

In the office or other work-related areas, it is best to use:

• ‘Personhours’ instead of ‘manhours’;
• ‘Businessperson’ instead of ‘businessman’;
• ‘Office cleaner’ or ‘housekeeper’ instead of ‘maid’;
• ‘Chairperson’ instead of ‘chairman’;
• ‘Salesperson’ or ‘sales representative’ instead of ‘salesman’/ ‘salesgirl’.

In your everyday life, use words like:

• ‘Synthetic’ or ‘artificial’ instead of ‘man-made’;
• ‘Ancestor’ instead of ‘forefather’;
• ‘Homemaker’ instead of ‘housewife’;
• ‘Layperson’ instead of ‘layman’;
• ‘Human-power’ instead of ‘manpower’.

Mind your business

Here are some popular financial terms that you probably use regularly. However, do you know how they originated? Given here are the origins of these words:

• Vesting (Earning pension over time): the verb ‘vest’ is derived from the Latin word ‘vestire’, meaning ‘to clothe, especially someone holding a rank’. So soon, the word derived the connotation of ‘to place or secure something in the legal possession of a person’.
• Budget (A sum of money allocated for a particular purpose): French merchants, in the Middle Ages, carried money in a ‘bougette’ (little bag). This word has its origins in the Latin word ‘bulga’ (a leather bag). The word got its current meaning during its import into English.
• Finance (Management of money): The word originates from the old French and Latin word ‘fine’ (end). The French word also had the connotation of ‘payment’. However, when the English adapted it in the 18th century, they began using the word only for money management.
• Money (Currency; medium of exchange): The Roman goddess Juno was responsible for warning the Romans of impending danger. So, she was called Juno Moneta – the name meaning ‘warn’ in Latin. As a tribute to her, the Romans built a temple on Capitoline Hill, which later became the place where coinage was kept. The name Moneta eventually evolved into the word money.

Newsletter – answering practical questions

It's like the four blind men trying to understand the elephant; they had their own ideas about it. You too would have your own perceptions about the newsletter. However, without knowing (more) about it, you'll hardly be able to appreciate its versatility.

So, here's an effort to help you better understand the versatile communication tool that the newsletter is.

Why do I need a newsletter?

Ever felt like reaching out to employees? Or wished to make your clients take notice of you? Or wanted to educate people about a particular issue? Ever wanted a brand ambassador who'd reflect your company's image accurately, at a fraction of the cost the celebrity would demand?

If yes, then you need a newsletter. This periodical journal can help you do all this and more. And what's more, it can do it subtly or obviously, depending on what you want. It offers you the luxury of complete customisation. You can choose what to say, whom to say it to and how. Effectively.

Well, why not use a brochure or ad or other forms of communication to meet these ends?

A brochure or an ad is seen as true marketing material, and therefore, meets with a certain resistance in the readers' minds. How often have you read the brochures you've received at shows or seen the ad leaflets that are mailed to you?

A newsletter is different as it is not perceived as a typical marketing communication effort. It can sell your brand or product without making it obvious, sometimes clothing it in the garb of information or leisure reading. Therefore your audience – be they employees, clients or other stakeholders – is likely to receive it with an open mind.

Why should I go to a specialist for creating one when I have an in-house team who can do it?

Your in-house team could very well put together a few articles and a layout and circulate it to your audience, but it may not reflect the quality and professionalism of an agency that is skilled in doing it. A specialist can help you add character to the issues, define the newsletter's identity, and create it in sync with your brand identity and communication objective.

What returns will it give me?

The returns could be many and varied, depending on your communication objectives. Here are some examples.

• Internal – help employees strengthen their bonds with the company, motivate and encourage better performance, increase awareness about issues, manage talent and indirectly, even reduce attrition.

• External – improve brand visibility, strengthen your brand image, build goodwill with clients, and also assist in marketing initiatives.

Well, now that you have an idea of what the newsletter is and what it can do, you can always call the newsletter specialists to know more about it. You can reach us at getus@cbeyond.in